If you are in a hurry and just want to find out what the best Christian marriage book is then I’d recommend Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs as the best one.
Are you looking for the best Christian marriage books? You have come to the right place.
Approximately 40-50% of couples in the USA get divorced. Unfortunately, we are also seeing a rise in Christian couples getting divorced.
This is staggering, and there is a need to step in and save thousands of families from breaking.
Here are the top Christian marriage books we’ll be reviewing:
- Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
- The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller
- The Mingling of Souls by Matt Chandler
- Kingdom Marriage by Tony Evans
- Marriage God’s Way by Scott LaPierre
Causes of Divorce in Christian Marriages
“To the married, I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.” (1 Cor. 7:10 -11 NIV).
God does not permit divorce. He hates it. I won’t finish if I start quoting Bible verses speaking against divorce.
God’s concept of marriage from the beginning was companionship for as long as the couple is alive.
This issue has troubled my heart for a long time and decided to dig deeper to get the main cause. These were my surprising findings. Prepare to get shocked.
1. Claiming to Have Married the Wrong Person
“I married the wrong person,” is a common phrase when couples divorce. They use the phrase to defend and justify their actions so that everyone may “understand” their decision. It is an unscriptural justification, however.
If you married the wrong person, then there is a high chance that you are the wrong person. Don’t get me wrong, just thinking aloud.
Look, many people, coincidentally, “married the wrong person” because of circumstances they couldn’t avoid. But they found a way of making their relationship work.
Let’s take a look at the Bible. David married Bethsheba after committing adultery with her. Indeed, it was the wrong way of starting a marriage, but God did not tell him to divorce her.
What about prophet Hosea who God told to marry a prostitute. He never divorced her?
2. The Love of Money
The love of money is the root of all evil; Paul writes to Timothy in 1 Timothy 6:10.According to this article, money is one of the leading causes of marriage breaks up.
The common money problems in marriages include;
- Financial pressures
- Argument about money
- Overspending and failure to budget properly
- Wrangles in sharing responsibilities
These may appear as manageable issues, but divorce is on the horizon if you don’t tackle them early.
In the same chapter where Paul advises Timothy, he tells him that godliness with contentment is great gain. In short, Paul is warning that the desire for money is a ticking time bomb that can bring marriages to shambles.
3. “Loving” Another Person
Let’s take this scenario as an example.
It happens that you worked on a project with your colleague. It becomes a success and you go to a celebration party. You dance and while holding his/her hand, you “fall in love.”
It’s surprising that such unrealistic scenarios are the reasons why spouses have extramarital affairs.
I’m not throwing stones, but you too might have had a similar experience. Maybe you have a friend of the opposite gender who seems to understand and respect you more than your spouse. In such circumstances, the Bible gives us ways of dealing with the issue.
- Avoid going where you will easily be tempted. For instance, you can take your wife with you to the company’s end of year party.
- Love God genuinely – not loving Him with your mouth. The love of God keeps you away from sin.
- Do not show that you are “available.” You will send the wrong message to people who then start “hunting you down.”
- Run away from any impending sin. The Bible tells us to resist the devil and he will flee from us.
4. Spiritual and Physical Immaturity
Why didn’t God create Adam and Eve as children and wait for them to grow before bringing them together?
The reason was to teach us that marriage is for mature people.
Our generation is obsessed with getting married. Others do it a little bit too soon. Getting couples as young as 22 years is common today.
Although this is a sign of physical immaturity, the worst case is spiritual immaturity. It’s where a couple claims to be born again, but they still indulge in worldly pleasures.
They might prefer partying and drinking the whole night than going for an overnight worship experience.
Christ is not the foundation of that marriage and the devil has room to shake it. Since both parties are immature, they can’t come up with a way of solving their issues.
What is the solution then? There must be many options but what is better than starting with the best Christian marriage books?
Well, let’s have a look at some of my favorite suggestions.
What is the secret that many couples seek but only a few find? A guess?
Let me break the suspense.
Cracking the communication code.
It is a challenge to many couples, but Pst. Emerson Eggerichs has criteria that work. His book, Love & Respect, was released in 1999 and has lived to save hundreds of marriages.
The book’s main takeaway is that if the husband does not love the wife, she will react. Seemingly, if the wife does not respect the husband, he will not love her.
His book is for anyone facing a marital crisis and wants to stay happy in their marriage. Having been married for years, Emerson has learned the secret of meeting a spouses’ need which is the recipe for a happy couple.
Emerson is a great communicator with a powerful voice. He knows how to relate well with the problematic situations couples may be undergoing. As a pastor, his teachings come from a biblical and spiritual perspective to drive the message home.
It’s not only troubled partners who will find the book helpful. Pastors and marriage counselors might find materials that will ramp up their marriage sermons and sessions.
- An affordable book to save your marriage.
- Practical advice wired with biblical verses.
- Great for both dating and married couples.
- The author uses simple text.
- Compatible with non-Christians, a powerful point of spreading the gospel.
- Some readers might find the author misogynistic.
- A few concepts are repeated across different chapters.
With the world slowly drifting away from the real meaning of marriage, Timothy Keller brings back the sense of intimacy to couples about to start filing for a divorce.
Keller has been married for 37 years to his wife, Kathy Keller. Together, they have learned the meaning of a glorious marriage that is often misunderstood by modern culture.
Timothy derives his message from scanning unrealistic demands spouses may want from their partners.
With his findings, he teaches the importance of commitment and communication. What makes the book lively is the anecdotes and research he has incorporated.
Tim is a persuasive communicator with words full of insights. His connection with the word of God speaks to your heart.
The book has sold thousands of copies and got five-star ratings with over 2200 reviews on Amazon. You will find it hard to put it down when you start reading. Good thing that it’s not heavy and can be taken anywhere you go.
If you are looking for a book that will describe the meaning, history, and real purpose of marriage, this might be your favorite piece.
- A marriage book that speaks better to singles.
- The book is biblical and God-centered.
- Clearly readable and practical.
- Easy flow from chapter to chapter.
- The book is solidly-researched and backed up with practical wisdom.
- The quality is not one of the best.
- Would not go well with a narcissist.
Matt Chandler has taken a new approach in his book, The Mingling Soul. While most marriage books have focused on communication, Matt goes a little deeper to unravel the secrets of love, attraction, and sex.
His focus is in Solomon’s book, Song of Solomon which offers valuable advice in marriage and romance.
He combines the biblical understanding with practical lessons he has learned over the time he has been married. With the inter-connection, you get insights that might help you define your marriage and make you a better partner.
Matt Chandler also tackles sensitive issues like attraction, courtship, and arguing. It’s for this reason that even non-believers might find help reading it.
The book has 224 pages which is not long for readers who get bored quickly. It also won’t cost you a fortune to get a copy. If you have poor eyesight, you don’t need your glasses as the font is big enough for reading.
- Can be used by marriage counselors and relationship experts.
- The text is easy-to-read and digestible.
- The author uses personal and honest opinions.
- Comes with a CD version for audio.
- It only targets newlyweds and not couples who have been married for a long time.
Kingdom Marriage book is one of Tony Evan’s best books. He has produced numerous products like Kingdom marriage devotion and video products.
As a marriage counselor and pastor, Tony Evans has had the best both of both worlds. The book will captivate you with real-life stories. He connects the stories with biblical insights to give you a complete hefty book.
I can summarize the book by this question – What happens when a godly man and godly woman come together? Of course, they form a godly marriage, but it won’t be a walk in the park.
The fact is that the couple comes from different backgrounds which they must, somehow, match. They have different personalities and they will have conflicting ideas concerning various topics in life. All these might cause friction in a marriage when not handled well.
The book has biblical wisdom to get back the lost hope. Tony encourages couples and gives practical lessons on how to walk around challenges to make their journey successful.
- Perfect for couples who are on the verge of divorcing.
- The book focuses on your problems, not your spouses’.
- The author brings up topics in a conversational tone.
- It can be used as part of a pre-marriage counseling course.
- The reader on the CD version is slow and inaudible.
Whether you are preparing to start dating, you are newlyweds or have been married for years, this book will give you the instructions for marriage that will keep it joyful and flourishing.
If you are an avid reader of books, you will agree with me that there are many marriage books, but only a few are effective. Most authors want to bring personal experiences (which is still great) but forget the biblical part.
Scott Lapierre poured his heart into this masterpiece and saturated it with the word of God. The foundation of scriptures makes it one of the best Christian marriage books that you will easily resonate with as a believer.
He uses personal stories that apply to daily life. You will love his sense of humor and how he incorporates it with insights that make the book entertaining.
The last thing to note is that the author incorporated common questions troubling couples. Some of the questions he has tackled circulate submission, headship, and intimacy.
- You get a free copy of the book via Booksprout.
- Simple text and conversational tone make it easy to read.
- Best for a home study group.
- Many scriptures that back up teachings.
- Ideal for marriage and family counseling
- A few copies may be numbered wrongly.
- A few readers don’t agree with the author’s theology and perspective.
I have heard stories of people with a library of marriage books that have not helped them. Marriage is a serious commitment and you should not just take any advice you come across.
As a result, it is tough to get a book based on the Bible with practical advice. Try out some of the recommendations of the best Christian marriage books and see how it turns out.