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Let’s learn more about the dangers of soul ties so that you know when to break them off when needed.
Doesn’t it feel so good having a deep connection with the people around us? As if you and the other person are connected spiritually, we usually put a lot of value on someone we are closely intertwined. Whether it be between lovers, friends, family, or even a trusted mentor, it feels somewhat rewarding that we have such people in our lives.
However, not all deep connections or ‘soul ties’ are considered healthy and godly. It may surprise us how easily the person can manipulate us on the other end of the line.
What are The Dangers of Soul Ties?
What are Soul Ties?
A soul tie is a deep connection you feel towards another person. It’s often thought that soul ties are formed after being physically intimate with someone. However, this isn’t the only way to create a soul tie with another person. A soul tie can be formed as long as there is a deep connection and bond between you and the other person. So, soul ties aren’t necessarily confined to romantic relationships. You can have deep contact with another family member, a close friend, or even a mentor.
Signs of a Dangerous Soul Tie
You feel confused
When you are in a relationship where God isn’t at the center, you will feel confused and conflicted. You feel the Holy Spirit warn you of the danger the other person will inflict on you, whether physically or emotionally, or mentally. Yet, when feel-good hormones such as endorphins are released due to intimacy or a romantic gesture from the other half, our mind contradicts the Holy Spirit’s warnings.
When God isn’t at the center of the relationship, there is no clear goal and purpose to the relationship. You both just go with what feels good, and most of the time, what ‘feels good’ is what’s bad for you.
You remain miserable
Love does not entirely make us blind, yet sometimes we choose to be blinded by the pleasures of this world. You know you have a dangerous soul tie because being with the other person makes you miserable. You may feel depressed, hopeless, and angry because that person is keeping you away from God’s presence.
The feeling that your heart isn’t in the right place because God gave us the gift of wisdom and knowledge through the Holy Spirit. Yet, due to worldly pleasures, we become blindsided and ignore the warnings and opportunities to sever the bonds of the dangerous soul tie.
They will torment your mind
Whether healthy or not, a soul tie will make us vulnerable. Deep connections will entangle our emotions and even our minds to the other person. This results in a change in perspective and sometimes feeling emotions that we don’t usually have.
For dangerous soul ties, this becomes an unending cycle of battling negative thoughts that only occur now that you’re with that person. You will struggle with your emotions and interaction with people outside of the soul tie. Being in a dangerous soul tie breaks your will and fogs up your mind. It skews your beliefs and your sense of right from wrong.
When Does a Soul Tie Become Dangerous?
Between Husbands and Wives
It says in Ephesians 5:22-23 that wives are to submit themselves to their husbands, as they do to the Lord. This passage is not to be taken literally. In a marriage between husband and wife, one isn’t supposed to be overpowered by the other. A controlling and manipulative spirit is not what God permits within a marriage. It goes against Jesus’ unconditional love towards all of us. When God is not at the center of the relationship, the soul tie becomes dangerous.
Yes, Paul applies Ephesians 5:22-23 explicitly within the context of marriage; however, we should also consider verse 21. As Jesus’ followers, we should practice humble submission to one another. ‘Submit yourselves to your husband as you do to the Lord’ means that wives are to respect and love their husbands, regardless of whether they ‘deserve’ it.
Between Parents and Children
Yes, soul ties are created between parents and children. Dangerous soul ties are formed when parents fail to discipline their kids and even defend their wrongful actions. An unhealthy kind of affection forms that will cause an imbalance in the hierarchy inside the household. When a child sees that they will always get their way, in their minds, they rule and control the family, not the parents. Not only that, the child will grow up with a skewed sense of right and wrong.
There is no doubt that our children are a gift from God. And as the appointed parents, it is said in Deuteronomy 11:18-21 that our genuine love for God is demonstrated through our obedience to Him. This practice is what parents are to regularly pass on to their children so that they may also pass it on to the next generation.
In addition to this passage, Ephesians 6:4 reminds parents to discipline their children with love and instruction from God and not with anger. So, parents must discipline their children, but they must not do so in anger. Continually educate your child about why they are being punished, and you are doing so with love.
In Close Association
Soul ties in a close association do not only pertain to our friends but also those who we look up to as a mentor or leaders. Between friends, especially those we consider our close and best friends, it becomes tough to realize that the soul tie has become dangerous.
Like in a romantic relationship, sweet and fake encouraging words make us callous and blissfully unaware of the harm it is causing us. People that knowingly lead you astray aren’t considered friends, and all ties with them should be cut off immediately.
The people we choose to surround ourselves with will influence our behavior and perspective on life. In 1 Thessalonians 5:11, we are encouraged to build each other up, so we must have close friends that help us grow closer to God. Also, in Proverbs 27:17, it is said that one person sharpens another, so we must choose with whom we want to associate ourselves.
Extreme Relationship with Animals
Pets of all shapes, sizes, and habitats are cute and lovable. They are a form of escape and relaxation from our busy and tiring days. And it isn’t hard to fall in love with our pets, especially when we’ve had them since they were young.
However, excessive and possessive affection towards our pets is no longer healthy. Believe it or not, some would go extreme and pour all their time and money into their pets. Their whole world revolves around their pets, and they become detached from the outside world.
With Admired Public Figures
We all have celebrities and public figures that we look up to and admire, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s good to have someone of high stature as a role model; it’s a source of motivation and gives us an idea of how to achieve our goals. But when a particular celebrity or public figure becomes the center of your universe, it becomes idolatry and a huge problem.
Often when we focus too much on an idol, we lose track of the date and time. We become obsessed with staying connected and informed of the latest news involving that person. This obsession interferes with our work, daily life, and relationships, thus, eventually turning away from God (Jonah 2:8).
It says in Psalm 16:4 that when we pursue idols, we will only suffer as we turn further away from God. Never forget that all the things of this world are only temporary; God is eternal. Always remember to love the Lord your God with everything you have, everything you are (Mark 12:30).
How to Break a Dangerous Soul Tie?
Surrender yourself to Christ
The first step to breaking a dangerous soul tie is to remember that no one can love you as much as God; there is a reason why His love is ‘unconditional’. No matter what you’ve done or will be doing in the future, God loves you regardless. After you have come to terms with this fact, surrendering yourself to Christ will come easy. Release and let Christ take control of your life. It will not be easy, so take the time to meditate and pray in the name of Jesus. Get to know who God is again and bask in the beauty of His presence and love.
Denounce the Soul Tie
After you have surrendered yourself to Christ, the next step is to denounce the soul tie. Acknowledge that the relationship is unhealthy and ungodly and ask for forgiveness. Our God is the God of great chances; not even death could keep us away from Him. When you denounce the soul tie, you also throw away everything that reminds you of the unhealthy relationship. Get rid of everything that will remind you of the relationship and turn over a new leaf.
Actively walk in the presence of God every day
To ensure that you won’t ever return to the harmful soul tie, you have to choose to walk with God every day actively. Choosing God over everything will remind us that He has and will continue to provide for our needs. And by opting to lean on God, we learn and become more dependent on Him alone. We might slip and stumble at times, but what’s important is that we rebuke it right away and continue to walk in God’s presence.
Soul ties are beautiful when you and the other person place God at the center of the relationship. The most important takeaway from dangerous soul ties is that only God can complete us. The longer we remain in the unhealthy and ungodly soul tie, the longer it will take to realize that God is enough for us.
You are not worthless without the other person; God has made us all beautifully and wonderfully (Psalm 139:14). Heck, even before we were born, God already knew us and has set us apart from the others (Jeremiah 1:5). So why else should we look for someone else when God knows us more than anyone will.
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